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Kauriss was awake. Again. She sighed and pulled on a silk robe, then slipped out of her room, padding silently through the halls. She paused outside Temire's room, listening. The girl's breathing hinted at deep sleep, and Kauriss moved on. Ilarion was still awake, and without thinking about it, she put her hand on the doorknob and opened the door a crack, peeking in. Ilarion was standing near the window, looking out into the darkness. He wore only his breeches, and the dim light of the moon showed the extensive, but fading, scars across his shoulders. His reddish blonde hair hung loose down his neck. At the sound of the door, he turned, looking over. "Kauriss?" He sounded surprised. Kauriss smiled faintly and slipped into the room, closing the door quietly behind her. "I couldn't sleep. I thought you might be in the same predicament." He shook his head, his long hair falling around his face. "I slept most of yesterday... had to. The healing psionics I use... " he waved a hand, dismissing the rest of the comment. "Anyhow, I don't know if I can sleep. Not now." Kauriss nodded her understanding, crossing the floor to stand beside him at the window and looked up into his eyes. "She'll be all right," she breathed, not sure whether she was seeking or offering comfort. He shudders, taking a deep breath. "I hope she is. They won't... " he glanced away. "They probably won't hurt her before we... pay the ransom. But they might not give her back. I don't... Kauriss, I'm not sure we should play by their rules." Kauriss' eyes widened. "What else could they possibly..." She shook her head, biting her lip. "A stupid question. They could demand *every*thing, couldn't they? What do you have in mind, Rusty?" He stopped a moment to look at her, his eyes narrowing, and yet, at the same time, losing a little of the hard tension they've been holding since he arrived. "I think we should play along, at first. Let them know you have this... these charts. Demand to see Ilya, before you'll tell them where the chart is. Mira and I can follow you until I'm close enough to get a trace on Ilya. Then, we'll... get her back." Kauriss studied him for a moment in the dim light. "More danger." She sighed and looked out the window for a long moment, not really seeing the elegant gardens laid out below them. Finally, she nodded. "All right." She laughed somewhat bitterly. "Stupid thieves. If they'd had any sense, they'd have kidnapped *me* and demanded the chart from Eston. Then Ilya would still be safe, Eston would still be alive, and you wouldn't have been forced to face burning buildings and uncomfortable reunions..." She glanced up at him with a faint smile. He nodded, crossing his arms loosely over his chest and leaning against the wall. "I suspect... " he paused a minute, thinking. "It probably went all wrong for them. I expect they meant to badger the charts out of Master La'Lauri, which is what lead to his unfortunate... accident. Taking a hostage is a risky proposition." She nodded and looked down. "I don't even know how they found out about her..." She looked back up at him, tears standing in her eyes. "I'm sorry you got dragged into this, Rusty." She reached out and traced the line of a scar across his shoulder. "They've hurt both of us so much... And all for a... a s-stupid *map*!" She turned away, lifting her hands to her face and stifling a sob. He hesitated a moment, then reached out for her, laying his hand on her arm. "Kauriss..." he started, biting his lip. "Don't cry... I promise. Mira and I will get her back. It will all be all right." Kauriss froze for a heartbeat, then turned toward him and rested her forehead against his chest, her hands still on her face. "W-what if it isn't? Wh-what if..." She sobbed again. "My baby..." Ilarion froze for a moment, his arms at his sides, before gingerly putting them around Kauriss's shoulders. "This is a new one for you, Kauri..." his words and his voice seeming at odds. "I'm not used to this... rush of grief." Kauriss gasped for breath. "Rusty, they *killed* him, they- they took my baby..." She turned a tear-streaked face up to him, putting her hands on his chest. "I... I'm frightened, Rusty. I'm not used to death and violence." She looked down again. "I know you don't think much of me, but I'm not so much of a monster that I'd make a game out of something like this." He patted her shoulder soothingly. "Strange what you can get used to, I guess..." His voice seems distant. "Ilya misses you, still... although she thinks a lot like you, you know... she asked me a few months ago if I'd buy her a new mother." He chuckled a bit, looking down at Kauriss' silver hair. She laughed, a little hysterically. "That can't have been easy to answer... what did you say?" She looked back up, hesitantly. "The best I could... that yes, some people were for sale, although not exactly like you'd go pick out a new pair of shoes, but that I didn't think she'd like one of those. And that I was doing my best to get one for her in a different way." She half-smiled as she wiped the tears from her face on the sleeve of her robe. "Is Temire going to be Ilya's new mother?" She glanced in the general direction of Temire's room. "Why isn't *she* in here with you?" Almost unconsciously, he winced. "We're... getting over some difficulties... nothing for you to worry about. And, in answer to the first question, I most fervently hope so." She smiled wanly. "You're being punished? I wouldn't have thought she had that much guile in her..." She looked up at him, then reached to brush a lock of hair from his eyes. "She really makes you happy?" He laughed shortly. "No, not exactly punished... she doesn't think about it that way, at least." He looked at her, his eyes tired. "You know, I can never stay angry with you when you're right here." "You managed to stay angry long enough to leave us..." Kauriss tipped her head, smiling faintly. "Shall I leave, so you can be angry at me again, for... whatever it was?" He snorted. "What is it you want, Kauri? You ask me if Mira makes me happy... have you ever been happy, Kauriss? Were we, either of us, ever actually happy, or have we always just been striving to find that next perfect moment?" She looked a little startled at his vehemence. "Is anyone ever *really* happy, Ilarion? I thought we were happy - for a little while, at least... After Ilya was born." She looked away, sighing. "Why do you hate me so much? What did I do that was so terrible?" He takes a deep breath, spreading his hands. "I don't know that I hate you, Kauri... I just... hate who I was, when we were together. I could never say no to you, and you kept... I don't know, trying to make me over into some ideal image you had. Dress like this, talk like that, go here, do that... and... then there was always the "You don't love me anymore." until my only defense against it was *not* to love you anymore." Her eyes met his, surprised. "I didn't know it bothered you so much. You never *said* anything. You just laughed." She smiled wistfully, and brushed a fingertip briefly along his lower lip. "You had such a nice laugh..." Roni almost smiled. "Well, at least I had something that you liked." Kauriss swayed closer, unconsciously, keeping her face tipped up to his. "I liked a lot of things about you." Taking a step back, he put his hands up. "Liked, Kauriss. Past tense. That's over now." She froze, looking at him with wide eyes, then dropped her gaze. "I'm sorry. I-" She broke off, shaking her head. "I should go, or you really will hate me." She took a quick step forward, kissing his cheek softly. "Try to get some rest, Ilarion." She glanced at him again, her gaze touched with disappointment, then turned to go. Roni hesitated, then almost took a step forward. "I never hated you, Kauriss. But what we had... it's over. I need a chance to get my life together now. You... should get some sleep too. It's likely to be hard road before this is over." Kauriss stopped by the door, looking at him as if memorizing his features, then nodded. "I'll try." She hesitated, looking past him to the window, then she smiled at him. "Rusty... The gods know I'm the last one who should give anyone advice on love, but... You should go to her." She smiled again, almost shyly, then slipped out, the door closing noiselessly behind her. Roni watched her go, his eyes soft in the dim light. There was something almost, but not quite, like regret on his face. A moment later, he turned, finding the slightly-too-large robe that Kauriss had left in the room for him, and slid it onto his shoulders. He hesitated a moment longer, then crossed the hall to Temire's room, tapping lightly on the door. A quiet reply issues from the other side of the door, "Yes?" He leaned against the door, resting his shoulder against the door-frame. "Mira, it's me. Can... can I come in?" Sounding a little more awake, "Sure." Opening the door, he walked in, shutting it quietly behind him. "I'm sorry to disturb you..." he shrugged, his face registering great weariness and puzzlement. "I couldn't sleep." Mira scooted over, making room for him on the edge of the bed. She wore her flannel nightgown. She ran her fingers through her short, tousled hair. "Worrying about Ilya?" "Among other things. Kauriss stopped by, a bit ago." He sighed. Temire comes fully awake and blinked at Roni, "And what did Kauriss want to discuss?" Temire's voice was a mixture of curiosity and fear, with a cold, hard edge of anger. Sitting down on the bed next to her, he ran one hand through his reddish-blonde hair. "She wasn't sleeping... says she's worried." He shook his head a little. "We talked about Ilya and what we should do about this ransom letter. I don't know... just stuff. How things used to be and what went wrong." Mira pulled her knees to her chest, resting her head upon them and looked at Roni, "So what did go wrong?" "What difference does it make? It's over now. Long time over," he said, twisting his hand absently over the coverlet. Temire reached out and puts a hand on Ilarion's shoulder, "It matters if you're twisting yourself up inside over it." He smiled at her. "I'm not, really. I'm more confused about... I don't know, Mira. I think... I think she wants things back the way they used to be, and I'm not sure why." Mira smiled and took Roni's hand, "Because she's a widow and while you wouldn't give her what she wanted you were probably still the greatest thing to ever pass through her life." Shaking his head, he pulled Mira over to him, resting her head against his chest. "That's over now. It's so over it's almost painful." Temire lifted her head and smiled, "Good. Because I'm not letting the most wonderful thing in my life get away." Gently kisses Ilarion. "Where does it hurt love?" |
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