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* Sabrina makes her way through the streets of Marsember. She is wearing a simple gray dress, and her hair is tied back. She looks down at the paper in her hand once more and looks around. She turns a corner and comes upon the temple she was looking for. Hesitantly she walks up the steps to the door, and slips inside. <Priestess> ::The temple of Hanali Celanil is a low, broad stone building. Just past the arch which marks the temple's boundary is a fountain, burbling gently. Hundreds of candles and flowers float on the surface of the water, bobbing slightly. Past the fountain is a door marked with a pair of soft red lanterns:: * Sabrina looks around and sighs softly. She steps up to the fountain and looks at it for a long moment. <Priestess> ::The water in the fountain is clean and sweet with the fragrance of the flowers. A few coins glitter from its depths:: * Sabrina fishes around in her pocket and pulls out a copper. She holds it in her hand and closes her eyes. After a moment she tosses it into the fountain. <Sabrina> ::after a few more minutes she walks past the fountain and heads up to the door. She places her hand on the knob, takes another breath, and slips inside:: <Priestess> ::A young priestess waits just inside the door. Long golden hair spills from her hooded robe as she bows, her hands folded in front of her:: How may the servants of Hanali Celanil serve you, Mistress? * Sabrina folds her hands together and nervously twists the silver ring on her finger. "I umm.....a friend of mine suggested that I come..umm talk to someone here." <Priestess> Of course, Mistress. Did your friend suggest someone in particular? * Sabrina shakes her head "No. She just thought I would be able to talk to someone about my past. She mentioned someone who counseled" her voice softens considerably "prostitutes" <Priestess> ::glances up at Sabrina, then nods:: Follow me, please, Mistress. ::she turns and walks slowly into the temple:: * Sabrina bows her head and follows the woman. <Priestess> ::The acolyte stops before a carved wooden door and knocks softly. She smiles briefly at Sabrina.:: Wait here for only a moment, please... ::she slips through the door, leaving Sabrina in the hallway.:: * Sabrina glances around, looking back once, the way she came. <Priestess> ::The low murmur of women's voices emerges from beyond the door, and after a brief discussion, the acolyte returns. She opens the door wider this time, and gestures for Sabrina to enter.:: If you please, Mistress... * Sabrina steps slowly into the room and glances around <Priestess> ::The room is an office, or perhaps a lounge. The room is tastefully decorated in blue and lavender, and comfortably appointed. Seated on a large cushion before the fireplace is a stunningly beautiful elven woman, with silver hair and large amber eyes. She smiles directly at Sabrina, and beckons her closer.:: * Sabrina steps closer, smiling in spite of her nervousness. * Priestess nods to the acolyte, who carefully closes the door, leaving them alone. "Come and sit with me, child," she says in a low, melodious voice. "I understand you find yourself in need of counsel..." She gestures to the pillows on the floor, the chairs and couches in the rest of the room. "Pick some place you will feel at ease." * Sabrina looks around and chooses to sit on some of the pillows on the floor. She arranges her dress around her and folds her hands, still twisting the ring. She then looks up to the Priestess nervously. <Priestess> ::smiles reassuringly:: "Tell me why you chose to come here, first." <Sabrina> ::nods:: I have a friend who thought I might benefit from coming to talk to someone. I ::she looks at the Priestess uncertain for a moment and then takes a breath:: I was sold into slavery when I was 6. Until about a year ago I have lived and worked in brothels ::quietly:: mostly because I didn't know any better. * Priestess nods, apparently neither shocked nor horrified. "It is a tale I have heard far too often. Though less often here, where there are at least no iron chains to match those of desperation..." She looks at Sabrina directly. "And now?" <Sabrina> Now I am free. I am studying to be a bardess, and I am happy with my life. I just ::she pauses:: I have a hard time around men. <Priestess> ::nods in understanding:: For how long have you been free? <Sabrina> Seven or eight months I think. <Priestess> Well, that is little enough time, for having been shackled... what? Ten years? Twelve? <Sabrina> ::softly:: Fifteen. <Priestess> ::nods:: Fifteen years, then, and less than a year of freedom... ::she smiles a little sadly:: You understand, some things take time to heal. Years, sometimes. I will offer what counsel I can, but I can't let you think you've come here for a miracle. * Sabrina nods and looks down at her hands. She thinks for a moment and then looks back up at the Priestess "I don't have any expectations. Every day of the past months has been like a gift to me. I just" she pauses and looks back down "My best friend is getting married, and I can not help but wonder if I will ever be able to be as happy as she is with a man" <Priestess> Ah... ::she smiles and shifts on her cushion:: It is a sign of hope that you even *want* such a thing. Many are scarred too terribly to even consider the desire. ::she eyes Sabrina seriously:: When you were first freed - in your first month or two, say - how did you feel about men? <Sabrina> ::looks thoughtful:: They made me very nervous. One of my first friends though, he was male ::she smiles a bit:: But he is my age, which I think helped. That and he was very careful around me, not to get too close or touch me. <Priestess> That was thoughtful of him. And now - is that nervousness diminished? Increased? Or the same? <Sabrina> It has diminished some. I am very comfortable around Kevil, but I think of him more like and older brother, or father even. <Sabrina> I still get nervous when a man is close to me though, or even when I think about it. <Priestess> ::starts:: Kevil? ::she looks at Sabrina closely:: Kevil Talarin? * Sabrina nods "Kevil is my teacher." <Priestess> ::raises an eyebrow:: Your musical talent must be something special, then... Is he the friend who sent you to me? * Sabrina shakes her head "Lisl Ferinsdottir suggested I come" <Priestess> ::smiles:: Ah, now that one... ::she shakes her head:: So... Would you say your nervousness has gotten worse in the last months? * Sabrina looks thoughtful again and continues to twist the ring around "I don't think it has gotten better or worse. I don't know that I have a lot of opportunity to test it" <Priestess> ::nods:: That's all right... ::she smiles:: I am not testing you, child - relax. There are no wrong answers. * Sabrina nods a bit and glances down at her hands. She stops twisting the ring and flushes a bit before shifting her gaze to the fire. <Priestess> ::she eyes Sabrina again:: So... men make you nervous - but not Kevil. Are there any other "harmless" men in your life? <Sabrina> ::Thinks:: Sanriel is the only other one I really trust. <Sabrina> Vallel doesn't make me to nervous, but I don't spend a lot of time around him. <Priestess> Sanriel is your friend who is your age? Can you tell what's different about him? * Sabrina looks thoughtful "Well, I guess because he was always very careful around me. When I first met him he was very" she smiles "huggable. And I was very uncomfortable hugging. He never pushes me to do anything that made me uncomfortable, and he was always very aware of me, so as not to make me uncomfortable. I guess all of that made me feel cared for, and over time I learned to trust him." <Priestess> So you were a little nervous around him at first, and then it got better as you got to know him? * Sabrina nods <Priestess> Did he know about your past? <Sabrina> Only a little in the beginning. But there was not a lot of time before he knew most of it. ::Her gaze grows curious:: <Priestess> What is it? * Sabrina shakes her head a bit "I'm just trying to follow where your questions are going" <Priestess> ::smiles:: I'm trying to decide if there's a common thread, between those who make you nervous, and those who don't. There may not be, but I won't know until we examine it. <Sabrina> ::nods in understanding:: Oh <Priestess> What do you think? <Sabrina> I think Sanriel, and even Kevil, don't make me nervous because they show no interest beyond friendship ::smiles a bit:: and I guess it helps they are both deeply involved with other women. <Priestess> ::nods and smiles:: Well, that's very sensible of you. What about women? Do women make you nervous at all? * Sabrina shakes her head "Not really, no" <Priestess> What if a woman showed interest in you? Would that make you nervous, do you think? Try to imagine it... * Sabrina looks thoughtful for a long moment. "I don't think it would make me nervous in the same way." she blinks and looks to the Priestess "But I don't think I would be comfortable with it either." <Priestess> ::nods:: That's all right, too. ::she considers Sabrina for a moment:: Tell me, in your opinion, is it the *men* who make you nervous, or the idea of having *sex*? * Sabrina begins twisting her ring again, and she looks down. She is quiet for a long time and then she looks up. "Until very recently I thought that it was the purpose of my existence to be sex for men. I think that what makes me nervous is the idea that a man would want me simply because of sex. And even if he says he doesn't, how do I know that he is being truthful." <Priestess> ::smiles:: Well... it's a problem almost every woman faces, child - the problem is that you know exactly how bad loveless sex can be. * Sabrina nods and sighs softly. She looks down to the ring and considers it for a long moment. "I just wonder if I will ever trust that a man loves me for me and not because of the sex." <Priestess> ::chuckles throatily:: You could always turn celibate. That usually does the trick. ::she grins at Sabrina:: But I get the feeling that's not what you want, either. * Sabrina smiles "I thought about it. But it doesn't seem to sit right either." <Priestess> ::nods and shifts position again, thinking:: * Sabrina watches her. <Priestess> ::looks up and smiles:: What do you think I can do for you, child? Be honest - what were you hoping, when you came through my door? <Sabrina> I think I was ::pause:: I was looking for someone I could talk to about this thing with men. Someone who would have a bit of understanding, and be able to offer a bit of council. <Priestess> ::nods:: I *do* understand. And I am happy to listen, if there is more you would say...? * Sabrina smiles "I don't know that I do right at this moment. But would you mind if I came back, if something comes up?" <Priestess> ::nods:: Of course you may return. It's our charge, after all - to pave the way for love... * Sabrina smiles and nods. "Thank you" <Priestess> As for counsel... ::shakes her head:: You have a great deal to recover from, and the way for that is long. Try to keep it in your mind that you are free, now - your favors *yours* to bestow or withhold, as *you* desire. Any man who doesn't understand that - well, you have your answer with him, at least. * Sabrina nods, her face thoughtful. * Priestess reaches over and takes Sabrina's hand carefully. "I won't lie to you, child. The way *is* long, and some scars may never heal. Any man who loves you must understand that, and be prepared for it." She squeezes Sabrina's hand gently, then releases her. "But love is a prize worth waiting for." * Sabrina nods and after a moment smiles. "I do hope there is such a man out there" <Priestess> ::nods:: I hope you find him. * Sabrina smiles and stands slowly "I do as well. Thank you so much for your time. I appreciate it more than you know." <Priestess> ::rises smoothly to her feet:: Hanali Celanil bless you, child. If you wish to make a donation of thanks, drop it into the pool on your way out. ::she smiles:: * Sabrina returns the smile. She turns to go and then turns back "My name is Sabrina." <Priestess> ::nods:: Farewell for now, Sabrina. Our doors are open at all hours. * Sabrina nods and heads out back through the way she came. She stops at the fountain and drops another copper in before heading back into the city. |
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