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* Vallel comes out of a classroom with a group of students, a bunch of books tucked under one arm. He exchanges a few words with another student, then heads back towards his room. * Meghan walks into the school carrying a bag hanging over her shoulder. She is wearing a light blue dress and her hair is tied back with a darker blue tie. She is just beginning to show her pregnancy * Vallel ducks into his room to drop off some books, grabs another book and a handful of parchment, heading down to the student study lounge. * Meghan stops and shifts the bag she is carrying to a more comfortable position. <Meghan> ::she takes a breath and pulls a cloth from her pocket wiping some of the sweat from her face:: * Vallel is thumbing through his book and nearly runs Meghan down. <Vallel> Oops, I'm sorry... oh, hullo Meghan... are you all right? <Vallel> Do you need a hand? You look awfully tired. ::he smiles at her:: <Meghan> ::blinks looking very surprised:: Well I....I was just on my way to the library to drop off these books. * Vallel holds out his free hand. "I can carry them, if you want." * Meghan thinks a moment and then nods to him offering him the bag. She seems to look everywhere but at him and answers softly "As long as I am not keeping you from anything. I don't want to take up your time...." she trails off. * Vallel takes her bag and slings it over his shoulder, leading the way to the library. <Vallel> Don't worry about it. I just have some practical to do for Master Bluestar later today, but it's no big deal. * Meghan nods and follows him mumbling "thank you then" * Vallel holds the door open to the library. ::the library is a smallish room with a few desks and bookshelves, no more than a hundred books line the shelves. A young gnomish girl is thumbing through a thick book with a black leather cover:: * Meghan steps into the library and turns to take the bag from him. <Vallel> You need some help reshelving them? * Meghan glances up at him meeting his eves for the first time the uncomfortableness and pain obvious she shakes her head. "I don't think that is the best idea. But thank you anyways" <Vallel> ::looks at Meghan, frowning:: I've done something wrong again, haven't I? <Meghan> ::shakes her head looking away...anywhere but his eyes:: You haven't done anything wrong. <Vallel> ::sighs:: Then why do I... Meghan... ::stops, trying to decide how to continue:: I thought we were going to try and be friends... ::the gnomish girl looks up from her book, and muttering something under her breath, she closes her book and leaves the library:: * Vallel smiles sort of apologetically at the gnome, shrugging. <Meghan> ::shakes her head her eyes on the floor:: I can't....maybe someday I will be able to but I just can't right now. ::she looks up at him the stone in her circlet glowing softly she starts to say something and then stops looking at him for a moment and then away sighing softly:: I'm sorry * Vallel looks a little hurt, then turns back towards the door. "I'll just go, then..." * Meghan watches him for a moment her eyes filling with tears "It feels like someone has torn my soul away from me. Can you understand that?" * Vallel turns around, slamming his books on a desk. "If anyone does, it would be me! Don't you think I *know*?" * Meghan winces slightly and wipes away a tear before it rolls down her cheek "Maybe that is what makes it worse. That you do know. That it is something else we share that we are not allowed to share" * Vallel puts his hands on his hips, clearly both hurt and angry. "I know it hurts... being in the same room together. For different reasons, but damnit Meghan, I can't change it. All I want now is to get past it, to have things back the way they were, before all this happened." <Vallel> And that's not going to happen as long as you're treating me like I've got the plague or something. * Meghan meets his gaze "I don't know what to say to you Vallel. I want things to be the same way they used to be to. But I love you, and I can't seem to let go of that. And when I am near you it tears me apart because I know that to a degree you love me to. I can't get past it. I don't know how. So I am doing the best I can. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry it hurts you, and that I have hurt Gloss in the process." She turns her back to him "I'm just doing the best I can to get past this, and I'm sorry that you don't agree." <Vallel> No, I don't agree, and I don't think you are doing your best at all... I'm sorry to sound so cruel, Meghan, believe me, I don't want to say things to hurt you. But avoiding me isn't going to change anything... you're not doing anything but postponing it. Unless you're planning on avoiding me for the rest of your life. If that's the case, please, tell me now. <Meghan> ::begins to look angry and does her best to keep her voice low:: What exactly would you have me do then Vallel. Please tell me because obviously I have no idea how to deal with the situation. <Vallel> Ah, you are alive in there. I thought I might have to step on your foot to get some sort of reaction out of you! If I could make it go away, I would. But I don't think hiding from it is going to heal it. I think the more time we spend together, the less it will hurt <Vallel> Sort of like a blister... yes, it hurts to wear your shoes and walk around, but it's the only way to break them in. If you put them away for a few months, you just end up with another blister. * Meghan clenches her fists and she begins trembling slightly the stone in her circlet is glowing brightly "I don't hide from it Vallel. I have a lifelong reminder of you and how much I care about you. I don't avoid you because I think it is a better way to deal with the situation. I avoid you because I am afraid of what I might project to you. Because I want to love you and it makes me so angry that I have to settle with just being your friend and nothing else that I don't know what will happen." Her voice gets louder with each word and she is trembling hard by then end she leans heavily on the table next to her and lets her gaze fall to the floor. <Vallel> ::looks at her:: If you'd rather I left you alone... I can do that. I don't know what else to do. <Meghan> ::lowers herself to a chair and covers her face with her hands:: But I don't want you to leave me alone ::she looks up at him:: I just want to you understand why I have stayed away from you. What I am scared of doing to you. <Vallel> Remember when I wrote you a letter? I *know*... I know what it's like to be afraid of yourself... afraid you will hurt someone you care about... <Meghan> ::nods lightly:: I know you know. You know better than anyone. ::shakes her head:: I just don't know Val. ::she lowers her head onto her arms on the table and begins crying:: * Vallel looks at Meghan, an anguished expression on his face. He takes a step towards her, then backs away again, running his hands through his hair, biting his lip. * Meghan looks up after a few moments running her arm across her face wiping away the tears from her cheeks. She looks over at Vallel her expression tired. "What do you want me to do. I'll do whatever makes you comfortable." <Vallel> ::shrugs, his expression a bit confused:: I don't know... let's just try and work this out together? I feel like a monster whenever you flinch away from me... <Meghan> ::softly:: I'm sorry <Vallel> ::shakes his head:: There's no fault here... sometimes bad things just happen... ::sighs:: * Meghan nods looking down at her hands <Vallel> Tell you what ::he starts reshelving the books Meghan is returning to the library:: I'll come by a few times a week and we can go for a short walk. Then we can get used to each other without having to spend too much time together, until we can handle it? <Meghan> ::nods and begins putting away some of the books:: I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. Do you think Gloss will mind. I'm not sure she likes me very much these days. Not that I blame her. <Vallel> ::shrugs:: Gloss is spending some free time with Tarri... I think she'll understand <Meghan> ::pushes the last book back in place:: Ok if you say so. <Vallel> ::offers his hand to Meghan:: All we can do is try... <Meghan> ::looks at Val's hand for a long moment before reaching out to place her hand in it:: * Vallel shakes Meghan's hand a few times, then drops it, smiling. "I think everything will be fine... eventually." <Meghan> ::nods lifting her gaze to his:: I hope so <Vallel> ::gathers up his books:: And I really have to go finish this practical, so I'll see you in a few days, okay? * Meghan gathers up her empty bag. "Well I should be getting. 'chelle is going to be wondering where i am" * Meghan nods to him a very small smile coming to her lips "A few days" |
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