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<Glossaria> Vallel! Please wait.... <Vallel> Hmmm? Oh... hullo Gloss... ::kicks a rock viciously down the street:: <Glossaria> ::taking his hand, pretending not to notice the rock:: I was glad of the excuse. It was feeling a little stuffy in there. <Vallel> Really? I thought it was rather cold. <Glossaria> ::twining her fingers into his:: Oh, Vallel... it's so... it's not fair!!! You didn't have any control over what you were doing... she DID, and what I saw looked like she was enjoying it just as much as YOU were! <Glossaria> I mean... ::taking a deep, careful breath:: I *know* how she was hurt, but... ::plaintive:: Does she have to hurt you, too? <Vallel> She's perfectly justified. I... probably frightened her very badly. <Glossaria> You frightened *me* badly. I... I think we *both* love you, Vallel. ::looking down at the pavement and kicking a rock of her own:: <Glossaria> But... you weren't forcing her to kiss you back. I know what I saw. <Glossaria> And she has Kevil, and Michelle, and Xarroch... Vallel, please... you can't keep... shutting everyone out. It will only make it worse. <Vallel> ::shakes his head:: Not then... earlier... I wanted... and everything she's been through. I don't blame her. She knows she can't trust me. <Glossaria> ::fiercely:: Then she's a fool. <Vallel> She's not. ::looks at her, his eyes haunted:: Can you honestly say that the things you did were completely her idea? That some part of you didn't actually want it? <Glossaria> I know what you wanted to do to me, Vallel... what you...::faltering:: What you thought you did. But I trust you. I know you're a good man, and you're strong enough to get through this. <Glossaria> ::looking down at the ground:: I know they weren't her idea. ::cocking her head:: Well, except for hiring out as a prostitute... that didn't even feel right when I thought it. <Vallel> ::laughs:: that would have been rich, don't you think... the gods of coincidence. I hire out a few and one of them might have been you. <Glossaria> ::smiles bitterly:: At least we would have had sex neither of us could feel guilty about. <Vallel> ::shudders:: No, I don't think I want to think about you like that. <Glossaria> ::pausing for a long moment, just walking with him:: Would you have been able to forgive me... if I did, I mean? <Vallel> ::muttering:: I almost wish you had... not so much because I want you to feel the way I do, but then I might feel more like it was okay to go back with you... <Vallel> isn't that a horrid, selfish thing to say. ::laughs bitterly at himself:: <Glossaria> I wanted to, I really really wanted to... especially with Xarroch. ::falling silent for a very long moment, this time, her voice very small when she does speak again:: I think I still do. <Glossaria> Yes, it is. But I think you've earned a little selfishness. <Vallel> I... ::shudders a little:: want you to have what you want. * Vallel scratches his beard thoughtfully. <Glossaria> Vallel, I want *you.* I love you... I love you so much that it hurts to even think about you this way.... <Glossaria> But... ::taking a deep breath:: You've been very honest with me. Even when it hurt. So I wanted to be honest with you, too. <Vallel> To think about me what way? ::runs one hand through his hair, pausing in almost surprise at the back of his neck:: <Glossaria> ::smiling a little at his interrupted mannerism, the smile fading again:: Like this... ::gesturing to him:: All... broken. Here. ::stopping him with a touch, and touching her fingers to his head gently:: And here. ::moving her fingers to his heart:: <Vallel> You know... I feel like... like a bag full of water... <Glossaria> ::raises her eyebrows at the analogy:: Water? <Vallel> Something not quite solid... or real... <Vallel> like I could suddenly sloosh all over the place... bye bye nice knowing you... ::waves at an imaginary self washing away down the gutters:: <Glossaria> But water... it always comes back together again, doesn't it? Have you ever watched rain on the windows, how the drops all pull together? I was fascinated for hours, watching the rain... <Vallel> I... analogies are never a really good way to describe feelings, are they? * Vallel steals a peek at her, then looks back at the ground, as if just looking at her might burn him <Glossaria> ::shakes her head:: They're all we have, I think. ::putting her head on his chest, listening to his heart:: For example, how would one define love? I could list what love makes one do... or the... spiritual warmth it gives one... but... <Glossaria> There have been volumes of books written on love, but none were sufficient. *You* were. * Vallel stands there, trying to figure out what to do with his arms, then gradually, he puts them around her. * Glossaria sighs softly, almost soundlessly, as if she'd been holding her breath a very long time. * Glossaria leans against him, and then frowns at the ground. "Danger and sex. Hm. Maybe I was right after all..." <Vallel> Right about what, dear? My dear... ::raises one hand, running it through her short hair:: <Glossaria> ::smiling fondly at the familiar gesture:: You should have seen it when it was plaid. Danger and sex. When I was... was trying to convince Xarroch, I told him that I believed your arousal the night after the party stemmed from your near-brush with death. And when we discussed...ah...::looking at the ground:: human-demon interactions, I posited that the thrill of risk added... spice, attraction, to what otherwise might be considered repellant. <Vallel> Oh... I can see that... pain and pleasure... <Glossaria> You said... you said before that she couldn't have... given you all those ideas. But, you see, you already *had* them. You were so...::biting her lip:: You were so frustrated, when I just wanted to cuddle.... <Vallel> I am *really* sorry about that... You know, you looked... oh, I can't even begin to tell you how... I.. but I shouldn't talk about that. <Glossaria> ::cocking her head to one side:: Why not? <Vallel> I wouldn't want you to be all... disgusted with me... any more than you are. <Glossaria> ::sounding genuinely curious:: Why would I be? <Vallel> I... I don't think she put that thought in my head. Looking at you, in that dress, all covered in blood, with the dress clinging to you, and... oh... ::he shifts against her:: I wanted to rip it right off you. I'm awful. I'm sorry. <Glossaria> ::cocking her head to one side:: As I said, the basis of those thoughts was there. She exacerbated them, turned them... uglier than they were. ::stepping a little closer to him, her breasts pressing against his chest:: You saw me with my dress clinging to me... wantonly... as if I'd showered in it just to arouse you... and the scent of blood aroused... animal passions, yes? ::her voice getting softer, more seductive, as she speaks...shifting, rubbing her body against his subtly. <Vallel> ::kisses the top of her head:: You were alive... I was alive... and you were just about the most enticing thing I've ever seen in my life... <Glossaria> And so... how hard would it have been, for *her* to take that, and make you associate violence with arousal? ::she turns her face up to his, kissing his lips, biting the lower one until he tastes blood:: * Vallel recoils from her, slightly, his forehead creasing with worry, then suddenly he laughs, picks her up and looks around. <Glossaria> ::breathily:: Find a room? <Vallel> Let's... ::spots a nearby hostel, sets Gloss a little gingerly back on her feet and takes her hand:: <Glossaria> ::takes his hand, and curls her other hand around his arm, bumping her hip up against his and grinning:: I promise to try not to injure you... too much. <Vallel> Oh, I don't know... it was kind of exciting... * Glossaria 's smile broadens as she licks her lips, and bites him lightly on the shoulder. <Vallel> Come on, you... ::leads her off to the hostel:: * Glossaria laughs throatily, following his lead. |
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